tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
