he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
