Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
