she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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