How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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