so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Send help, water and tortillas.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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