He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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