Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
