I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
