My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
