Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think a kid would responsible me up
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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