went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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