Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
