this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize