if i can run in heels then i can drive
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Say something about gay babies.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize