last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
