Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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