The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize