If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
