Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
