Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
