i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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