oh god the rape fog is back!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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