I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
