I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
