i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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