just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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