btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
