i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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