Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think my moral compass just broke
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