no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
