WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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