direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
