Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
