I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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