Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize