I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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