She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
