FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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