Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
