hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
