he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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