Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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