Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
