You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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