I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
