You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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