He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
