We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
