he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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