I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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