so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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