i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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