i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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