hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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