**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
