Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
