She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
