ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
