Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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