I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
