Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
