they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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