East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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