Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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