just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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