I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
