you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize