Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
