My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
