We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
