Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
