I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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