Where did you get a picture of my penis
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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