She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
