Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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