Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
